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  • Writer's pictureSteve Braun

Quality of Actions

I felt really angry the other night.

A situation brought up resentment and anger that I haven’t experienced in a very long time. It was 9 o'clock at night and I was literally vibrating–looking for an outlet to release my emotions. I’m grateful that I have tools to deal with this today. I called a close friend who let me vent which helped immensely.

I took some deep breaths to get re-grounded and upon achieving a calmer state, I was able to focus on a course of action that I proceeded to complete. I then spent the rest of the evening in prayer and meditation before having one of the best sleeps I’ve had all week.

The anger caught me off guard because it rarely happens to me anymore. I’ve made

great strides over the years to achieve this but my response to anger didn’t always look

that way. I used to be a reaction machine– I took everything personally! If you looked at

me wrong I would get pissed off and react which always made things worse. I didn’t

know how to change it and I also didn’t know that THE CHANGE NEEDED TO START

WITHIN ME! I learned I needed to take a proactive approach to life, not reactive.

But what does that mean? This is how I look at it: My actions are a direct result of my

thinking. The better my thinking-the better my actions will be. I needed a better thinker!

Since I was stuck with the one I had, I found ways to improve it instead. Personal

inventory, spirituality, prayer, meditation, exercise, healthy activities all played a part in

taking a proactive stance in life. This may all sound well and good, but it also took many

years to achieve so it’s not always the most practical advice to give people.

I get asked this often, ‘What can I do in the meantime to help be more proactive?’.

I usually respond by asking, ‘Have you considered doing the opposite of what you would

normally do?’

I hate to admit it, but I lovingly ripped this little piece of advice directly from a Seinfeld

episode. George is protesting to Jerry how unsatisfactory his life is when he tells him,

‘Every instinct and decision I have made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the

complete opposite of everything I wanted it to be’. Jerry goads George a little by saying,

‘If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would HAVE to be right!’

Needless to say, this ends up working very well for George and hilarity ensues along the

way. This may sound a little silly, but is it really so far-fetched? Looking back at my

experiences in early sobriety, everything I was being taught was completely new to me,

and if something wasn’t working I had to try another approach.

How many times have you said to yourself, “I wish I would’ve handled THAT differently”?

Well, you can! It takes effort, action, practice and most importantly; a willingness to

change. I may not always be able to prevent feelings and emotions from arising, but I

can learn how to prevent reacting to them in negative or harmful ways. I’m grateful the

tools I have today allow me to deal with anger in a much healthier way than I ever would

have before.

Need some help taking a proactive stance in your life? For many, a shift needs to take

place followed by massive, determined action. Let me show you how!

Let’s talk!

Steve Braun

Call or Text: 778.932.1978

About the Author: Steve currently resides in the sunny Okanagan in British Columbia Canada where he spends his free time camping at remote lakes chasing monster rainbow trout with a flyrod.

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