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  • Writer's pictureSteve Braun

Men and Loneliness

Here’s why so many men feel lonely:

My friend and I recently returned from our annual ‘guys’ fishing trip in the Cariboo. We met

up with 4 individuals from our fly fishing club who we weren’t as well acquainted with.

A fantastic week of fishing, laughing and sharing stories around the campfire.

On the drive home, my friend says, ‘For all the chats and time spent with those guys, I feel

like I still don’t really know them at all’.

It’s no secret that men have a hard time connecting.

Around other men they keep themselves distanced and discussion usually only

stereotypically revolves around sports, fishing or beer. Occasionally they may default to

talking about work, a topic that dominates their world and defines their self worth.

It appears there is a lack of permission to be authentic.

This feeling can become so internalized that men shut off their emotions altogether, hiding

from others and even from themselves in plain sight.

The common thread through all of this is Vulnerability and it corroborates the invisible wall

men often feel between one another.

Vulnerability exposes parts of us that can be hurt. The exposure can be uncomfortable

considering that most were taught to avoid feeling weak.

Being vulnerable is really the only way that men can truly find a sense of connection and feel

seen by others.

This leaves men in an impossible position: Take an emotional risk to obtain connection, love,

and friendship by being vulnerable, or take the safer path and risk further loneliness.

The need for connection and belonging is non-negotiable. We must find a way through the

fear and self-doubt. Vulnerability can be uncomfortable but it is also honest. Showing our

authentic selves is the only way we can find a sense of true connection with others.

Steve Braun

Call or Text: 778.932.1978

About the Author: Steve currently resides in the sunny Okanagan in British Columbia Canada where he spends his free time camping at remote lakes chasing monster rainbow trout with a flyrod.

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